07 Sep

DIY Hell – Week Zero “Corruption Recycles”

Greetings, salutations, and &c., y’all. And thanks for tuning in (and extra thanks to those who’ve taken my lovely wife’s pimping to heart and clicked me up at the ‘net radio station Jango.com).

Which brings me to the point of borrowing your eyeballs for this brief moment. Young Rabid wants to make an album. And he’s got next to no money to spend. But he’s got a plan.

Please point out just how much crack I’m smoking here, yes? That’s what friends are for, heh.

Sweet, enthusiastic Kimi jumped the gun a little by pushing the Jango.com link on y’all while I was still feeling out the free angles of it. But no matter, no matter, it’s done and done now. And the statistics/metrics are rather fascinating.

If you’re making music, I think you can still wangle some free intro plays on there… and if you’re patient, they’ll give you more plays for free if you take a survey.

I digress.

THE GOAL:

Make an album. Something that could conceivably be bought by someone, somewhere, someday. On a budget where the shoestrings are being used to make soup, and thus, not available. Bringing new meaning to the word “Solo.”

I think it’s no accident “DIY” can be alt-pronounced “DIE.”

THE PLAN:

Step 1: Register every damned thing I’ve got recorded and out there with one of those agencies.

Y’know, ASCAP… BMI… uhhh, that other one.

BMI wins, because, well, it’s free for writer/composers like li’l ol’ me.

Not knowing what I’m doing, I registered a coupla-few songs, to see how I screwed up the process, heh. There’s 39 tracks (that I’ve got the rights to, or took care of getting the okays for already) so far, out there in limbo. I’d like to make sure I’ve got it right before spending a lot of time unfucking a lot of registrations.

And while I’m waiting on that…

Step 2: Remix/retrack/remaster the candidates for the album, Corruption Recycles.

Yes, the title’s a multilayered joke… on myself. I’m like that.

But I’ve got the art to repurpose for my own selfish needs, and I like it, so… yeah. I’m recycling it from art I made elsewhere, changing what needs to be changed, &c. Here’s a taste of the look & feel.

This is the hardest step, and will be the most time consuming. And also the most fun.

Break out the clipboard, slap on the headphones, and thin the herd into a cohesive, thematic grouping of 10-20 songs. Then dupe the source audio and dig in, unfucking and desucking, ’til there’s something there, slouching its punk-ass toward Bethlehem.

Step 3: Physical product (and pricing and “distribution”).

This is where I’ve got to spend some fucking money, damnit. This is where things move out of my hands. This is where I’ve got to wait, and the immediacy drug of DIY leaves the ol’ bloodstream, sweaty and chilled.

Fucking withdrawls.

Fucking (lack of) budget.

Fucking fuck.

I think I can get through this for under $100.

I’ll wait ’til you’re done laughing.

Feel better now? Okay then.

Amazon’s on demand, self-publishing system. And the proof disc’s free. The first one’s always free, ain’t it? That’s the hairy, scary part of all this… what am I gonna get back? Will it have four wobbly little chubchubchubby limbs all waving up at daddy?

Or flippers, permanently crossed eyes, and an underbite that reaches up past its one-nostriled nose?

If the baby bounces, then it’s time to spend some cash (but still, as little as possible). Order ten copies to be delivered to Casa de Entropy ($49.95…ish) and get the Amazon/CreateSpace store(s) going. There’s distribution channels, both physical and digital. Entity #1. Production.

Receive the ten copies and send five to cdbaby (go local, y’all!). Fees, &c., $35-ish. (Hell, if I can hand deliver ’em to the cdbaby warehouse, that’ll save on postage, too.)

Immediately remove Amazon from cdbaby’s physical and digital distribution chains. Crossing the streams & double fisting is frowned upon, it turns out.

Since I’m not playing out (as Rabid Garfunkel), I can keep the merch virtual, Schröedinger-like, for the time being.

Step 4: Pimp it!

Well, yeah, this step should be interwoven with all the other steps. Ever pimping, always out front.

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That was a long-ass read. Thanks for sticking with it. And if you’ve got any suggestions / observations / experience / abuse to share, by all means, shout it out.

‘Cause I’m making this up as I go along, heh.

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